off to what i feel is a strong start for the new semester. i’ve been feeling invigorated and motivated and all that good jazz. i’m ready for my thesis, ready to treat myself better, ready to prepare myself for the real world ahead.
i mentioned i’ve started to develop a new routine, in order to keep my mental & physical health sound: i wake up, do my exercises, make myself a cup of coffee, and sit down at my desk to write poetry in my little book before i log on to my computer, or anything else really. i’ve been feeling very good since starting to do this, which is important to me – i don’t want to have ebbs & flows of motivation & productivity – i need a consistent routine, and i think i’ve found it.
additionally, i’ve ordered a few more books for my thesis (more biographies, more primary Allen sources). one of the books came in today – Family Business: Selected Letters Between a Father and Son, a book containing the letters sent between Allen & his father, Louis. there was one particular letter i was hoping to find, that has been described in a few biographies – one in which Allen comes out to Louis about his sexuality, his affair with Neal, and his subsequent dropping out of Columbia. i assumed that, oh, you know, this book of letters between them would have, you see, the letter in question.
it does not.
instead, it offers a paragraph that explains what the letter says; but alas, no such letter is documented in this book.
however, that doesn’t mean this book is a complete “failure.” there’s two letters from the summer of 1948 that follow Louis’ anger & disappointment in his son.
- The infamous reply from Louis, in which he only writes, “Exorcise Neal.”
- A reply from Louis critiquing a poem Allen wrote.
i’m excited to get the rest of the books, especially Spontaneous Minds.
in the mean time, here’s a (lesser) rough draft of two of the poems i wrote this past week