regroup

i took a little break from writing poems this past weekend, since i went back to my undergrad to visit my boyfriend for our one year! it was a nice little visit, but it’s not to say i completely forgot about my other boy, Ginsberg.

i talked to my old professor about my thesis (again) and how it’s coming along. he suggested the movie Paterson, which he explained as a creative, hybrid biography of William Carlos Williams’ life. i guess something in my thesis was reminiscent of the film – probably a creative retelling of a poet’s life through art? i’ve put it on my list of things to watch, either way.

when i came back, i also ran into the head of Kean’s english department. he asked Marissa and I about how the thesis was coming along, and when i explained to him what i was aiming to do, he suggested to talk to a Dr. Gover. Apparently, this professor took classes with Ginsberg, so it might be a resource i look into! i don’t even know what this guy looks like, so i guess i’ll see.

i’ve written a few more poems since last update, but i need to type them out. however, i felt like i needed a regrouping of sorts – i needed to recenter myself and the plot of the poetry. i finally got my copy of Spontaneous Minds, and i got to reread Ginsberg’s interview with Clark for The Paris Review. Ginsberg goes into detail of things he was thinking, people he was interested in, and how he saw the world after the experience, which is what i needed to read in order to refresh my artistic direction.

i have fresher colors to paint with, now, so i’m excited to write some poetry tomorrow. i feel like with each poem i’m coming to a better understanding of my own Ginsberg mind and tongue.

also, i looked at his poetry from june-july of 1948. there’s only four or five poems written at that time (not very good). one of them is “Vision 1948,” a very vague retelling of his Blakeian vision… but it’s very hard to tell, with no context. “A Very Dove” is also unusual… it’s got internal and end rhyme schemes, which was not even typical of his earlier poetry. i wonder if he felt like he was in a poetic rut? or was it just himself experimenting with form? his father was a more traditional poet, so maybe he was taking cues from Louis.

 

Advertisements

start

off to what i feel is a strong start for the new semester. i’ve been feeling invigorated and motivated and all that good jazz. i’m ready for my thesis, ready to treat myself better, ready to prepare myself for the real world ahead.

i mentioned i’ve started to develop a new routine, in order to keep my mental & physical health sound: i wake up, do my exercises,  make myself a cup of coffee, and sit down at my desk to write poetry in my little book before i log on to my computer, or anything else really. i’ve been feeling very good since starting to do this, which is important to me – i don’t want to have ebbs & flows of motivation & productivity – i need a consistent routine, and i think i’ve found it.

Allen Ginsberg Talking to His Father
22 Dec 1969, Miami, Florida, USA — Miami, Fla.: Allen Ginsberg, poet of the flower generation, points to his father during a press conference on his arrival in Miami. Dr. Louis Ginsberg interrupted his sons talk at a local temple with a “Shame on you Allen” when the younger Ginsberg advocated the use of drugs. — Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS

additionally, i’ve ordered a few more books for my thesis (more biographies, more primary Allen sources). one of the books came in today – Family Business: Selected Letters Between a Father and Son, a book containing the letters sent between Allen & his father, Louis. there was one particular letter i was hoping to find, that has been described in a few biographies – one in which Allen comes out to Louis about his sexuality, his affair with Neal, and his subsequent dropping out of Columbia. i assumed that, oh, you know, this book of letters between them would have, you see, the letter in question.

it does not.

instead, it offers a paragraph that explains what the letter says; but alas, no such letter is documented in this book.

however, that doesn’t mean this book is a complete “failure.” there’s two letters from the summer of 1948 that follow Louis’ anger & disappointment in his son.

  1. The infamous reply from Louis, in which he only writes, “Exorcise Neal.”
  2. A reply from Louis critiquing a poem Allen wrote.

i’m excited to get the rest of the books, especially Spontaneous Minds.

in the mean time, here’s a (lesser) rough draft of two of the poems i wrote this past week

one

two